When divorce makes it's way to the front and center of a relationship, it is often difficult to maintain perspective, especially in the early stages. It is crucial for spouses who hope to make the most of their divorce or avoid unnecessary difficulties in the process to identify their individual goals in the divorce.
Simply put, very few spouses "get everything" in a divorce, especially if there are children involved. If you find yourself facing divorce, you should consider carefully how you plan to proceed. While you may feel in the moment as though this is your big opportunity to finally punish your spouse for his or her numerous shortcomings in your marriage, this is an unwise strategy.
Usually, it is far wiser to identify your priorities and seek out legal counsel that can help you pursue those priorities professionally. You may find it helpful to consider that two of the largest and most complex aspects of most divorces are determining how to divide property and how to divide parental responsibilities and privileges. In very few instances does any one spouse or parent leave a divorce with all the assets and full custody of children. If you believe that this is possible in your case, be sure to consult with an experienced attorney who can help you verify this possibility and create a strategy to achieve your divorce goals.
However you choose to proceed, be mindful of your behavior in and out of the courtroom or negotiation venue. Beware taking any actions that may decrease your chances of securing your priorities, especially if that behavior is legally questionable. No matter what you hope to achieve or avoid in your divorce, deciding what exactly it is that you need out of your divorce is the first step in achieving it and moving on to a new chapter in life.
Source: Findlaw, "The Divorce Process: Do's and Don'ts," accessed Oct. 20, 2017