There comes a time in many parents’ lives when staying together as a couple simply doesn’t make sense anymore. Depending on the nature of the relationship, some parents may postpone divorce for the sake of the children, which seems like a very attractive option for many individuals. However, the common strategy of “staying together for the kids” is often not as effective as parents may hope.
First, it is worth considering any danger that staying married places on you or your children. If you live in an abusive relationship, then you should strongly consider doing everything you can to leave. Leaving abuse is often difficult, but it is among the best things you can do as a parent.
Outside of an abusive situation, however, there may exist other reasons to call it quits sooner than later. In many instances, the very idea of “staying together for the kids” places undue pressure on the children themselves to earn this sacrifice. Furthermore, this strategy often fails to recognize how intuitive children are. Many kids realize this strategy is in play long before parents know they’ve figured it out. This can lead to strain in the parent-child relationships, and may cause a child to lose respect for his or her parents.
If you and your spouse are considering divorce, but think it is best to put it off, consider the big picture. In many cases, parents who can live civilly together may create a better life for the family by moving forward with a calm, reasonable divorce that recognizes the maturity possible in children. An experienced family law attorney can help you assess your family’s needs and determine a strong path forward.
Source: HuffPost, “Should You Put Off Divorce for the Sake of the Children?,” Vikki Ziegler, Nov. 01, 2017