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Building smart communication methods for custody situations

Living in a co-parenting situation does not come easy for most people. Why? You either divorced the other parent, never got married or simply do not get along whatsoever. Then, there are co-parents who have a good relationship but simply never felt the need to marry or didn't mesh well as a couple that lived together. Either way, co-parents need to build smart communication methods in order to succeed and keep their children happy.

Never fight in front of the children. Not even about what time they go to bed. Even the tiniest of arguments can impress upon a child. Fighting, if you must, should be left to when they are asleep or when they are at school, camp or out with friends or other family members.

Try to be as concise as possible in your communications with the other parent. The longer you talk in-person, on the phone or via text; the more likely it becomes that you will start to argue over just about anything.

When you communicate, keep it about the kids. Don't start asking about each other's personal lives, where they were last weekend, if they are dating or how work is going. You might think this is innocent, but it might come across as you are checking up on them.

Never use your child as the middleman with the other parent. Do not ask them to relay questions or information or have them pry into the other parent's life. This will only cause the child to become stressed and build resentment in them toward one or both of you.

Building smart communication methods does not happen overnight. It takes a lot of time, effort, sacrifice and learning how to adjust. The more you work towards communicating effectively with the other parent, the less likely it is that you will run into problems.

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